I worked my damnedest every day to feel more positive about this blended family Dan & I were trying to build… then felt like absolute shit on the days when I could not find any positive things. My crushing guilt made connecting with my stepdaughter even more impossible — I only withdrew further and beat myself up more.

Not only did I think there was something seriously wrong with me, I thought there was something so horribly wrong with me that not even a counselor could help. Surely they’d refuse to see me. They'd probably tell me I shouldn't be around any children — not even my own.

Writing this out, I'm like "Wow Maarit. That's some... pretty extreme thinking there...."

But these are the dark places our brains go when there's no one to tell us that what we're feeling is TOTALLY. NORMAL.

All those miserable, unspeakable stepparenting emotions we hoard, those feelings that we're convinced make us some kind of monster?

N O R M A L.

And just knowing that is what would've helped me the most. Because with less guilt, I could've acted more like myself. I definitely would've been less stressed, which would've allowed me to be more compassionate. More patient. More able to support my partner and my stepkid and my own kid — and most of all, myself.

All from simply knowing that other people felt the feels that I also felt.

I know firsthand that sometimes all these strong stepparenting emotions feel too heavy to carry alone, so I put together a guide to help:

➡️ 17 COPING TIPS FOR OVERWHELMING STEPPARENTING EMOTIONS 👀

I really hope it helps you too. xo

Oh hi! If we haven’t met yet, I’m Maarit — the face behind Blended Family Frappé, former single mama turned stepmama. And former hot mess of a stepparent now functioning pretty close to normal these days! 🎉