becoming blended

Actual blended family life could not be further from The Brady Bunch, in the same way that Gilligan's Island is nothing like getting shipwrecked on a desert island.

And yet... we inexplicably do kinda sorta hold ourselves and our stepfamilies to that impossible Brady Bunch standard.

We expect the transition from "total strangers" to "blended family" to happen simply and seamlessly. We expect love between stepparents and stepkids to spring up instantly and unconditionally. We expect our partners to be expert parents/stepparents out of the gate, and we expect our kids/stepkids to be thrilled with all these new changes in their lives.

The real journey toward blended is so much more complex than The Brady Bunch would have us believe. On average, blending a family takes 5 to 7 years. That's on average. If you've got a high conflict ex in the mix, then blending can take 10 years or more. (Yes, really! 😱)

Figuring out stepfamily life is a steep learning curve for most of us. But we can shorten that learning curve if we're willing to let go of our own preconceptions about blended family life and redefine our roles as parents, stepparents, and partners. And that process starts with education: educating ourselves, educating our partners, and educating the kids. Which is exactly what this site is about.

PS - Learning how to blend your family is only one element needed for stepfamily success. For help with the whole enchilada, start here.