HELP FOR HIGH CONFLICT
Most co-parenting resources are based around the idea that peaceful co-parenting is the default.
Typical co-parenting advice assumes both exes are capable of putting their personal feelings aside in the best interest of their shared kiddos and meet somewhere in the middle without toxicity, anger, or finger-pointing.
Isn't that a lovely thought??
Unfortunately, co-parenting in happy fluffy Unicorn Land — where difficult exes and drawn-out custody battles and parental alienation apparently don’t exist — is not the reality for those of us in high conflict.
Stepfamilies in high conflict situations need different strategies and resources, especially around co-parenting.
And stepparents in high conflict need extra support, too. Because unless you're an expert in the family court system, parenting psychology & childhood trauma, c-PTSD & emotional abuse & recovery, and high conflict personality disorders, you're probably feeling pretty damn overwhelmed right about now. (On a related note: stepparents also need help understanding how to best support our partners through that high conflict without losing our own sanity in the process.)
Dan & I learned the hard way about how to blend when the high-conflict ex keeps throwing wrenches in the works. Giant, horrible, unrelenting wrenches.
But hey! What's the point of going through all that awfulness if we couldn’t glean some stupid character-building life lessons that'll maybe help someone else, right?
So by all means, please learn from our stories and mistakes. We really hope that sharing what we've figured out along the way will shorten your learning curve, helping your own family to blend with less angst and drama than ours.
PS - Learning how to navigate high conflict is only one element needed for stepfamily success. For help with the whole enchilada, start here.
ESSENTIAL RESOURCES
for dealing with high conflict
Learn about parallel parenting
Educate yourself on parental alienation
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